Its like a beaver dam in there.

It's been one week since my first chemotherapy session. The chemo has done quite a number on my body, and its incredible how just a few drugs can effect the entire system.

One of the recent issues I have been dealing with are the tips of my fingers permanently feel like they are asleep. They have a constant tingling sensation, even while I am typing on the computer. The Drs. that I have talked to indicated that this might happen. Additionally, they said as I have more treatments the tingling can expand further down my fingers or happen on my toes. 

*Wes 2.0 now can't feel pain in the tips of his fingers.   

Also, as a result of the chemotherapy, I have been eating non stop. I am not sure if that is a side effect, or I eat because it is the one thing that feels good right now. (That's depressing). Thanks to the fact that I am eating like a prego, I found out last week that one of the more uncomfortable side affects of the chemo is the way the digestive system has to process everything (chemo drugs, food bingeing). Lets just say it felt like a beaver dam in there.

A few days ago, I started ingesting prunes like it was my job, and those mixed with some additional pills should helped me flush the problem. And don't be fooled by the label, Prunes are not natures super fruit, they taste like garbage. I make a drink that is one part prune juice, and two parts orange juice. (Prune + Orange + Orange = POO).

So to sum things up.

"I can tingle, but I can't poop... very easily anyway"

I have the second chemo session on Friday, so Blah, Blah Blah. 

Round 1: Chemo 1, Wes 0

I had my first round of chemotherapy yesterday. I would now like to refer to it as KARMA-therapy, as I feel that if karma does exist, I am paying for all the times I beat up Garrett.

The treatment went as follows.
I had to give a blood sample to make sure all my counts were normal. (white/red and platelet)

Following the labs, the chemo began.
I have not had a permanent catheter placed into my body, so they placed an IV into my left wrist area. Then they ran a bag of saline solution into system to open the line and get ready for the chemo drugs. The chemo drugs followed, and the whole process took about five hours. The highlight of the chemo drugs was a red solution (don't remember the name), but it looks like unhardened jello going into your arm. (and a few hours later it looks pretty similar coming out).

I left the hospital a little after 3:00 p.m., and we made it about half way home when I started feeling sick. I spent the rest of the day in bed sleeping, with the exception of meal time.
Blue gatorade- thanks Kristen
Enchilada- thanks Danica
Tylenol- thanks David W. Young (inventor of tylenol)

During Treatment

My Thoughts Exactly

Not your typical bank, not your typical deposit.

I will provide a very watered down version of my experience at the fertility/sperm bank. I have received several inquiries as to what that part of this roller coaster was like.
Here is the summary.
After an initial medical consultation, they handed me a soda can-sized cup and told me it is time for me to provide my deposit. They then led me down this hallway and said that I could use any of the three "specimen rooms." All the rooms were about twice the size of a phone both.
Each room had a different theme.
Room #1. White walls and a large picture of a shirtless man holding a newborn baby.  (You should be arrested if you use that room to make your deposit!)
Room #2. The room was covered in abstract chalk drawings of the female figure... for the "artsy" donor.
Room #3. I would call this room the "what you would expect a sperm bank room to be filled with room."

I completed the deposit and dropped it off with the lab tech, who then asked me several questions about my experience.

*I dare anyone in that situation to try and make eye contact with the lab tech while you're answering the questions. It would liken it to trying to keep your eyes open during a sneeze.

Deposit made, and those assets are frozen.

Super Human Features and Pitching In

   As many can assume, since January 2, my life has kind of been turned upside down. Thanks to a wonderful support system, to include family and friends, I feel confident that I will be back to original Wes, if not Wes 2.0 in no time.
  Here are just some of the unusual things that people have said to me, or had happen to me since I let the cat out of the bag.

1.  I recently had a dental hygienist tell me about a friend of hers that just finished up treatment for Hodgkin's Lymphoma and after the Chemo treatments were completed he ended up with a real strong sense of smell.
  * I don't think that sounds half bad, especially working in the drug enforcement scene. I think that could be a real asset. Who needs a drug sniffing dog?

2. I had a CT/PET scan today. (They put liquid in your body that is attracted to the cancer cells). The nurse administering the radioactive material made some joke about me glowing in the dark after the test.
 * Between #1 and #2, I am starting to feel a little bit mutant or super-human.

3. One of the books that I have read about life during Chemotherapy says that since I will have a weaken immune system, I should refrain from tasks such as picking up dog poop.
 * I told my two dogs Midas and Kona about this last week, and since then I have noticed they are eating more of their own poop then usual.... "Less mess for Wes."

Everybody chips in around the Bedford house.

End Result.....  Wes 2.0
 

I've Got the Good Kind.

Thank you Lyra for the inspirational and informative video!   :)

The RABBLE and the P

January 11, 2012

More hats – More kindness. I have seen a few more people around the office wearing the DEA cancer hats, and every time it makes me stop and think about just how blessed I am.

I talked to Dr. Popplewell today, and she scheduled the first round of Chemotherapy for Friday, January 20^th, 2012. There is a “Rabble” of butterflies in my stomach.

                For all you wordsmiths, a Rabble is a large group of butterflies.

Also, in researching the sperm banks in the area, I have heard that some request that the person making the deposit to B.Y.O.P.
Thanks to yet another generous donation, I have my very own P. 

   

    

DEA CANCER HATS

January 10, 2012

I found out today from Dr. Popplewell that I do not have the cancerous cells in my bone marrow. I think that would have been a little much for me to handle. It’s a roller coaster; one day I hear good news, the next day I hear bad news.

Jaime, Jeff, Liz and countless others have been a great support to me since they found out about the cancer. They have been trying to put together fund raisers and different events to help raise money to offset the cost of the medical bills.

I saw a DEA hat on Jaime's wall done in pink lettering. I thought it was kind of neat, but it wasn’t until I saw an agent in the parking garage wearing the same “cancer’ hat that I started to put two and two together. Within about an hour, Jaime came up to me and gave me around $200.00 dollars and said that it was raised from the sale of the hats. The initial quantity of hats sold out in a day, and they were going to order more.

I really cannot put into words the kindness that people have shown me. My body feels good and strong, but as a result of the pure love that people have shown me, I would say my mind feels the strongest.

I am trying to get the S P E R M banking appointment taken care of, and get that out of the way. Its amazing how so many people have come up and offered so much, examples being blood, bone marrow, money, a blender, but by far the most offered item has been sperm.  

Appreciation

Sunday, January 8, 2012

My Dad left yesterday after being here for the week. It was good to have him around, I really don’t get to spend as much time as I would like with my family, but that topic is for another day.

I talked to Greg and Brandon today. Both of the called and wanted to know how I was doing. As more time passes, I realize just how blessed I am to have such a strong support group. 

City of Hope. I Hope.

January 6, 2012

Today, I went to the City of Hope for the first time. We (Dad, Kristen and I) took the wrong road getting there, and ended up driving through a rough neighborhood on our way. It put a bad taste in my mouth. Once we arrived, everything went really smooth. All the staff was really attentive and appeared to honestly be concerned about my well being.

I met with Dr. Leslie Popplewell for the first time. She is the clinical associate professor in charge of the Lymphoma patients. She was really informative, and explained everything in a manner that Kristen and myself could understand.

After explaining the general details of the upcoming treatment, she asked if I wanted to go ahead and get the bone marrow biopsy completed. The bone marrow was to be extracted from both hipbones. I reluctantly agreed…. Here are the highlights.

1. The nurse had me lay down on my stomach, and pulls my pants half way off.
2. She then proceeds to scrub the area that will be worked on. (Deep scrubbing of my backside)
3. Several shots of lidocaine
4. Then a very painful aspiration of bone marrow from the left hipbone. And the right side.
5. While the Dr. was working on the right side, my left butt cheek started to spasm from the lidocaine.

Overall, I left the biopsy in pain, embarrassed and little bit dizzy.

I feel that I will continue to pursue my treatment at the City of Hope. I felt comfortable there.

After coming home, I looked at the national rankings of Cancer Centers in the county and City of Hope was #17 last year. UCLA was #10 and Cedars Sinai was #32. Dr. Popplewell did her residency at the # ranked hospital in the country (somewhere in NY). I think that place is as good as I am going to find.

On the way out, we took the right roads and the hospital actually appeared really nice from the freeway as we were driving away. A better ending than beginning on my first day at City of Hope.

Just the Beginning

I am sitting in front of the computer on Wednesday, January 4, 2012 at 9:45 pm. Two days ago I received a call from Dr. Stanley Arnold, who informed me that I had been diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma.  Info on Hodgkin's Lymphoma

In August of 2011, (date still have not figured out) I was in Tucson, AZ visiting family and friends. Garrett had planned for a family hike down Mt. Lemon into Catalina state park. The hike lasted the entire day, but everyone made it. Those on hike were in order of last place finish to first were Dad, Garrett, Lee, Bryan, myself, Kristen and Kade. People have referred to it as the Death Hike, and between me getting cancer, and my Dad's bruised toe nail, I would say the name is pretty accurate. 

After cleaning up from the hike and resting for a few hours, Garrett, Kade and myself decided to meet some other T-locs at the church for some late night basketball. I felt exhausted from the hike, but managed to run up and down the court for a few hours without too much difficulty. The reason I mention this time playing basketball, is that it is the first date of importance in my current cancerous condition.

On one occasion playing defense during one of the games, I remember someone throwing the basketball to an offensive player that was behind me. I lifted my left arm straight up to try and tip the ball. At that exact moment, I felt a very intense pain in my left arm, underneath my bicep. The pain was strong enough to leave my entire arm tingling for several more seconds.  We finished that game in the next few minutes and that was it for basketball for the evening.

For the next few months, the pain in my arm gradually increased to the point where I could not function normally without extreme consideration for my hurt left arm. It felt like there was a dentist drill tapping into my left arm. I countered the pain with lots of Tylenol or similar pain medication, so much so that I would take these pills before bed, even if my arm was not necessarily hurting at the moment, because I knew that if I went to sleep without the help of pain medication, I would be up in the middle of the night trying to find the medicine, some water and then have to wait up for 20-30 minutes in an enormous amount of pain for the medicine to take effect.

 This was my life from August to December 2011.

After much pain in the arm and persistence from Kristen, I called the nearest medical facility and scheduled an appointment with Dr. Stanley Arnold.

The first day that I went to see Dr. Arnold, he asked my reason for the visit and I explained that I had pain in my arm, and no other symptoms. I explained the ebbs and flows of the pain, and after a few routine questions he said I should get a chest x-ray. No, not an x-ray on my arm, but a chest x-ray?!. Immediately following the x-ray, Dr. Arnold said there appeared to be a “nodule” on my left lung, but further testing would need to be completed. 

* I don't want to overlook the most fantastic part of this whole initial visit with Dr. Arnold. Upon returning home that night, my arm stopped hurting. I have not taken a single pain killer since that very first visit, and have never woken up in the middle of the night bc of pain in my arm. Now that's something to think about.... Divine Intervention!!!

 Within the week of the initial visit, I had completed a CT scan with dye contrast, which enables the radiologist to be able to see the areas that might have additional nodules.

A few short days after the CT was completed, Dr. Arnold called and said the CT showed several nodules in my left lung and left side of my neck. Additionally he recommended I get a biopsy of the nodules in my neck. The biopsy was scheduled for the week after Christmas. 

DECEMBER 24-27

We were in Tucson for Christmas and spent time with family and friends. No real thought to my health, just enjoyed the company, including the first time seeing baby Cedar. (Will go back and add more in about visiting the needy on Christmas eve).

December 28, 2011.

     I remember walking into Edinger Medical Group (EMG) on December 28^th, a day early for my biopsy (oops), and filling out the now routine pre-patient paperwork, I was introduced to a really nice “murse”  (male nurse) who was going to be assisting in the biopsy. He led me into the room where the ultrasound biopsy was going to be completed. I couldn’t help but notice the countless pictures of babies taken with the use of the same ultrasound machine that I was going to use to see if I had cancer. Talk about your classic irony. The machine that show most people the miracle of life, was going to be showing me if I was getting the miracle of death. 

     As the murse was preparing my neck with what I thought was enough lidocaine to bring down a baby elephant, he did a good job of making me feel comfortable and informed on what was going to happen during the biopsy. After preparing everything for the biopsy, Dr. Ragmanhi came in the room and through the use of a variety of different gauged needles placed into the nodule, he was able to collect enough sample cells to be able to fairly analyze the area of interest. 

     After the biopsy was completed, the murse said for me to call on Friday the 30^th, and hopefully the results of the biopsy would be completed before the holiday.

Friday the 30th, 2011

 9:00 am: I called Dr. Arnold office, and left a message with the receptionist, asking for Dr. Arnold to call me with the results of the biopsy. 

Around noon: I received a call form an unknown secretary at Dr. Arnold’s office telling me the results were not in, and Dr. Arnold would call me when they are.

December 31^st 2011 - January 1^st, 2012

Spent New Years with friends and celebrated at the house. Still no news. HAPPY NEW YEAR!, or flip that around HAPPY NEW YEAR! Still no news. 

January 2, 2012-         NOT SUCH A HAPPY NEW YEAR AFTER ALL

  Approximately 8:35 a.m. – missed call from Dr. Arnold

  Approximately 8:45 a.m. – missed call from Dr. Arnold.

     Approximately 9:00 a.m. – I had been upstairs on the computer, looking at the fantasy football stats, since I just lost in the championship game for our office tournament over the weekend (Congrats Lydia and Tom Brady) and walked downstairs to take a shower and get ready for the day. 

    I walked in the bedroom and looked at my cell phone on the dresser and saw the two missed calls from Dr. Arnold and one new voicemail. I became really nervous and walked back upstairs with my cell phone without telling Kristen about the two missed calls.

    I called Dr. Arnold’s office, and got the secretary. I told her that Dr. Arnold had called me and I was looking for some test results. She said he was with a patient at the moment, but she would pass the message along. Dr. Arnold called me back within ten minutes, and said something to effect of, “David, I have your test results. Can you come in to my office to talk about them? I then asked, when should I come in? He then said, Can you come in right now?….

    I walked downstairs to tell Kristen. I don’t remember the actual walk down the stairs, but I remember walking into the living where Kristen was seated on the couch, and as I was standing at the back of the couch, I could barely get the words out of my mouth, without letting the tears choke me out completely, "Dr. Arnold had received the results, and wants me to come in talk to him right away."

    We both had a good cry in the living room, and once more as we were walking down the hallway towards the bedroom to get ready to go. I decided to take a shower before going, and I also cried in there. That 15 minutes from the time I hung up the phone with Dr. Arnold until we left the house were not easy.

    Kristen drove us to Edinger Medical Group, and after we parked the car, she said a prayer asking for us to be able to get through anything that we were going to face. We then walked into the doctor's office and sat in the waiting room for several minutes. Finally, after what seemed like too long to have to wait to hear bad news, Dr. Arnold came out and called us back into a patient room. He pulled up my information on the computer and said the biopsy results had come back and I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma…. And the rest of what he said was inaudible, and we left shortly after. 

Order of the first people I called and reactions/emotions.

1. Dad, and Garrett was with him in the car. – I cried. He said “Oh Wesley.” The first time I called him, I couldn’t get any words out, so I just hung up. I was standing in driveway of our house.

2. Mom- I cried as soon as she picked up the phone. She kept asking me, “Wesley, what? What is it son? Wesley what?” All I remember is that my mom offered to donate to me every part of her body.

3. Carlie- I was getting better at breaking the news. I was still choked up, and she said, “Wesley, no. Wesley, no.” I can’t remember the rest of the conversation.

4. Maegan- Called Maegan, no answer at first. I called back few minutes later and she picked up. I explained to her the situation and she expressed sadness and concern.

5. I called Mark. He did not call back for a long time. He called when I was in the backyard, and I explained to him the situation. He was in disbelief, and asked a bunch of questions.

6. Others that I remember- no order

1. Albert Ramos- he said he was shopping in the mall with Stephanie, and got the news from Lee. He said he started crying in the middle of under armour and they just left. Shopping day ruined.
2. Ricky Bailey- told me the comforting story about the “death sentence” J 
3. Lee Winfield- said he heard it from his Dad, and thought that I was already dead or very near to death. He said he really didn’t know what to say because he said I am usually the one that is providing the comforting words or advice on life.
4. Grandma Judy- I cried, she cried. I spoke with her on January 3^rd. I had been fine all day, and as soon as I began to talk to her, we both started crying. The conversation was highlighted by her telling me to freeze my sperm, and at the end of the conversation we were both so choked up, I ended up just hanging up. I could say good-bye.
5. Dan Young- January 5, 2012, he said he was in disbelief and as soon as I got off the phone he called the Reverend Young (his father) and he said he would put me on the prayer role of his church.
6. Bill Czopek- ever since I have told him about the cancer, he has been talking to me about the bucket list. I clearly told him the odds are in my favor. Still more talk about the bucket list. (his bucket list included going bowling… dream big!)
7. Brian Fuller- January 5, 2012, called my office phone and left two messages. He then wrote me an email saying that he would donate as much time as needed to take off. He said he already talked to the HR department and he would get everyone in the office to donate as well. 
8. I walked into work on January 3, 2012, and after calling my boss to inform him of the situation, I told everyone in my group that there was big news coming from the Bedford house. I asked them all to guess. The immediate responses were…are you pregnant?, did Kristen leave you?, are you coming out of the closet?, are you leaving DEA?. And even after I told them I had cancer, one person asked me again if I was coming out of the closet.  Thats a good group of people to break the news to.